My name is Matt Moore and I am requesting compensation for money spent in support of the Cornhuskers' horrendous performance occurring this past Saturday, September 14th for the total of $13.08. On this date, I purchased an omelet while viewing your televised football "program" at the Hollywood, CA Cornhuskers watch site.
This total does not include tip (Sara Beth did a fine job, and I compensated her appropriately) nor does it include personal damages sustained waking up at 7:50am (on my day off) to make the 9:00am PST kick-off. These costs I will cover as I understand them to be the residual costs associated with supporting any given sports club. The $13.08 I feel is owed to me is to compensate for your athletic team's continued failure to produce an enjoyable, interesting, or relevant event regardless of the final outcome.
I hope my request will offend you enough that you make the appropriate changes to ensure your fans receive something/anything in exchange for their years of tireless support.
Always a Nebraskan friend and neighbor,
I know what you're thinking, but please let me explain (I think we can both agree, after everything we've been through, we owe each other at least that).
Yes, I've been in a Blake Lively phase. I know it's wrong and you're right to be upset. I understand. She's a step down but, I guess, I was just so sick over the whole Ashton business I just latched onto the first thing I can across. I know its not right, but that's just what happened. But girl, you know its always been you. Always. I'm sorry it took this long and an inadvertent Friends With Benefits viewing to remind me.
I know I still have strong feelings for you, and I'm pretty sure you still feel the same for me. Sure everyone's going to say we're crazy and that this can never work but damn it, I think we both deserve another shot.
Chemistry like ours just doesn't have an "off" switch.